two dolla

twitter updates for 2008-04-22

April 22nd, 2008 | Comments Off | Posted in Twitter

Walking 5 miles after getting a job offer? I’m still jacked up about it. Now if the other 3 that could happen would happen? Holy awesome. #
@best_day_ever @billhelm oh so sorry, guys, but it’s not storming at all here. i’m going for a job in my sports bra until it does! #
um, i meant jog. #
I have an official start day of 4/28. Hooray! Now I have to remember how to get up and out of the door that early in the morning. #
@best_day_ever thankfully metroblogging is around to fill their 15% of the local blogging bitterness quota. #
I’m waiting to pee in a cup. The lady before me is getting a paternity test for her baby. #
After an hour of holding it, you’re damn right I fill that tiny cup full of my clean urine. #
2 more last round interviews tomorrow, including the one with the CEO. May get to pick between different job offers! #
What is it that makes me unable to turn the channel when Rachel Ray is on? #

and i’d steal a monkey

April 22nd, 2008 | Comments Off | Posted in Travel

For almost 30 years, I didn’t really have any desire at all to leave the country. Sure, it’d beautiful everywhere and sure, it’s cool to see it on TV, but I really had no desire to leave the continental U.S. And then the cruise of 2007 happened and I want to go everywhere.

Granted, this whole unemployment thing has me kind of strapped for a travel budget, but then I’ll get an email from various travel-related websites letting me know about these fabulous specials they have going on where I could visit every country in the entire world for approximately $12.95. That’s kinda hard to turn down!

If flights to South Africa weren’t so ridiculously out of my budget right now, I’d have a couple drinks with Desmond Tutu and Nelson Mandela before I start back to work next week. And even though it may have the world’s highest crime rate for rape and second highest crime rate for murder, it’d still be worth the trip! Honestly, if I were going to South Africa, I think you’d find me taking the safari circuit, hanging out with some hippos or wild monkeys.

I should probably not get ahead of myself and start planning safaris in other countries before I even have a nice, shiny paycheck to deposit in my bank account…

i’m gonna pack my lunch!

April 22nd, 2008 | 2 Comments | Posted in Work

It is official; I will join the working masses, dressed in business casual clothing on Monday the 28th. This clearly means I need to buy some more black socks. This is all, of course, pending the outcome of a drug test, but since the last time I freebased crack cocaine was four months ago, I think I’ll be safe.

The gig is in St. Paul, which means it’s almost a FIFTEEN MILE commute. It’s not really that big of a deal, because if I was still working at my former shithole employer, it’d be the same distance.

I still have my eye on a job that’s four miles away and a couple more pending through various recruiters. This is an income, which I kind of need right now, considering my last unemployment check will hit my bank account tomorrow. And it can’t be extended because of President Douche’s Economic Stimulus Plan. Enjoy those $600 checks! I had to go and get a damn job because of that little gift!