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twitter updates for 2008-04-14

April 14th, 2008 | Comments Off | Posted in Misc.
  • Bret Michaels is nothing short of a god. A god with the hair of a pony. #
  • If I wasn’t so shy, I’d totally meet my next shawty at the dog park. I just wanted to use the word shawty. #

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re: dog feces

April 14th, 2008 | Comments Off | Posted in In My Neighborhood, Photos

I can’t help it. I have a lot to say today.

I just checked my mail, and noticed I had a letter from my new apartment’s management company. I always get scared when I get unexpected letters from any place of business, but I like to blame that on the time I bounced a bunch of checks when I was barely out of high school. (Shut up. I took three hours of band my senior year, instead of personal finance!)

The letter goes on to say the following:

It has come to management company’s attention that some pet owners have and are continuing to neglectfully take responsibility for their pet dog’s feces…. As a resident and dog owner, you must take a small bag or receptacle item to pick up after your dog… dogs are no longer allowed to urinate or defecate on management company’s property; you as a pet owner are responsible to clean up after your dog (s) and to now take them off management company’s property for walks and to take care of business. This is your only warning. …

It later goes on to say that pet owners can be evicted if we let our dogs poop on the properties. Seriously. And all of the bold typeface? That’s how it is in the letter.

Now, I haven’t said more than 10 words to any of my fellow tenants. However, Riley is the only dog here, which means if there’s dog poop anywhere on our property, I’m getting blamed for it. I will be asking for DNA evidence, though, because at least three times a day I’m walking around this damn block (or more) waiting for Riley to urinate or defecate in someone else’s yard (or in the area between the sidewalk and the road).

The absolute last thing I need right now is to get evicted from my apartment for improper use of dog poop.

#10 on the list

April 14th, 2008 | 1 Comment | Posted in Sports

Forbes has put together a list of the Top 10 Most Miserable Sports Cities. I definitely thought I’d find Kansas City and St. Louis on the list, without even knowing what the list was based on. No offense, Missouri sports fans, but let’s be serious – people always forget teams in those cities even exist. I’m a Missouri native and forget half of them exist!

Guess who #10 on the list was. Go on, guess. Minneapolis.

Teams: Vikings (NFL), Twins (MLB), Timberwolves (NBA), Lakers (NBA), North Stars (NHL), Wild (NHL)
Title round record: 8-8 (13th)
Semifinal round record: 16-17 (17th)
Total seasons/early playoff-round exits (or baseball 2nd place): 160/46 (19th)
Total seasons/championships: 160/8 (10th)
Years since last title: 17 (16th)
Teams lost: 2 (Lakers, North Stars)

When I first moved to Minnesota, I didn’t get why everyone was so sad about being a Minnesota sports fan. Over the past six years, I’ve slowly realized what it means to get let down halfway through the post season… if there’s even a post season at all. And these stats? They don’t so much make it any easier to swallow.

Oh, sports. Why must I love you so? It’d be much easier if we just hated each other.

baby phat

April 14th, 2008 | 1 Comment | Posted in Misc.

You know how sometimes you’ll see something that somebody’s wearing and thing “Holy crap! I wish I could pull that off!”? For me, it’s usually a pair of tennis shoes that white girls shouldn’t be wearing to work… but sometimes that doesn’t stop me.

What else falls into that category of stuff that looks pretty fantastic, but stuff I couldn’t (and wouldn’t) try to pull off? Baby Phat. Every time I see the word Baby Phat, I always think it’s going to be some gangster baby line of clothes and then I remember, nope! That’s Kimora’s line! And then I get all of the Simmons brothers confused, because how am I supposed to remember which one is the reverend and which one is the Def Jam guy?

Baby Phat. It’s just funny to say! But not quite as funny as Phat Farm.

links for 2008-04-14

April 14th, 2008 | Comments Off | Posted in Misc.