wendy’s surefire interviewing tips

  1. Scrub off the stamp you have on your hand from your trip to bar the night before.
  2. If you’re wearing earrings, wear both of them.
  3. Always chew gum on the way to the interview. Even if you did brush your teeth, you could still burp the hot dog you had for lunch.
  4. Brush your teeth while naked. You don’t want toothpaste slobber on your fancy shirt.
  5. It’s okay if your sock has a hole in it. Just do some creative sock turning and make it work.
  6. Schmooze the receptionist. Big time. They’re fun people anyway, and they’ve probably dealt with a lot of assholes all day long. Don’t be the person they go home and bitch about.
  7. Remember the person’s name you’re supposed to be asking for. Just because it starts with the same letter and has the same number of letters as your recruiter doesn’t mean that’s her damn name.

Follow these tips. While you may not get a job (like me), at least you won’t show up with one earring, a hole in your sock, hot dog breath, with a stamp from Sneaky Pete’s on your hand, while asking for Beyonce, when really you’re supposed to be meeting with Barbara.

2 Comments

  1. Okay, so you got a job? Or NOT got a job? You’ve been having a pretty good time with this not-working life. You sure you don’t want to make that work a little longer?

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