I used to watch Crank Yankers all the time, and this is my all time favorite skit of all time. Tracy Morgan, please come hang out with me.
"Shouldn’t steal my stuff. I like my women hairy. Must have titties and a badonkadonk butt. Needs to have a clean ass. Gotta have strong legs, especially at the knees."
And the rest is entirely worth listening to, so do it.