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old versus new

March 10th, 2008 | Comments Off | Posted in In My Neighborhood

I’m sure in a couple of years, I’ll be bitching about my current apartment’s management company. Things look kinda good, though, because there are two different apartments here that have had the same tenants for 30+ years.

I’ve lived here for just over two weeks, and today, the maintenance fellas came in to make sure my smoke detector works. And the adorable boy that came in here warned Riley that it was going to be loud. He also said he was very sorry my oven wasn’t working and he would come fix it as soon as the part came in. Oddly enough, he also had cute maintenance guy butt crack when he had his entire torso shoved in my oven trying to figure out what was going on.

In my old apartment? One night, the power was out, which happened regularly there. And for whatever reason, when the power was out, it mate the smoke detector in my apartment go off non-stop. At approximately 2 a.m. in the morning, I called the emergency maintenance line because it was a damn emergency that I couldn’t go to sleep and my dog was running around in circles trying to make the noise stop.

The emergency maintenance personnel came into my apartment, looked up at the smoke detector, looked up at me and said, "Well, I can just take it off. That’d make it stop."

So, that’s what he did. Then he looked at me and said, "I’ll come back and put it back on tomorrow when the power’s back on."

Approximately 18 months later, the smoke detector was laying in the floor when I moved my last load of crap out of that apartment. I’m sure I could have called and had it slapped back on, but I wasn’t entirely worried about it.

always jump at the end

March 10th, 2008 | 2 Comments | Posted in News, Travel

Someone jumped off our favorite cruise ship!

According to a news release from the Coast Guard, the woman had been traveling with her boyfriend on the Costa Mediterranea when "she had become angry and agitated and then unexpectedly jumped overboard."

Knowing what I know about the Costa Mediterranea and being obsessed with each and everyone one of it’s cruising schedules, I’m 99% sure the lady was going on the same cruise we went on in January. And I also happen to know that if it was reported at 1:18 a.m on Sunday morning, that means they’d just left Ft. Lauderdale six hours ago!

Lady. You paid for that cruise, you idiot. Or maybe your boyfriend did, but still. Jump at the end, dumbass. Not at the beginning. You totally missed a day in Key West yesterday, and trust me, you would have loved it a lot.

And really, I hate to break it to you, but I don’t think anyone on that boat is concerned that you’re not there. Including your boyfriend. Unless he pushed you, because I don’t see any guy looking longingly off the back of the boat, waiting for you to swim by.