Whoever had the idea to give Steve Wilkos his own show is either the biggest idiot on the face of this Earth or quite possibly the biggest genius, and I haven’t figured out which it was. If you haven’t ever seen the show, I’ll give you a run down of what I see every night if I don’t go to bed before 3 a.m.

Overly Trashy Guest: My baby’s daddy loves me.

Steve: NO HE DOESN’T!! GRRR!!!

OTG: But he tells me he loves me when he’s beating me with a lead pipe.

Steve: WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU ARE YOU STUPID GRRRR

OTG: I can’t help it. We have 5640 kids together.

Steve: HE’S TOUCHING ALL OF THEM IN THE SWIMSUIT AREA.

OTG: No, he’s not. He only did that to our first kid. Not the rest.

Steve: YOU’RE WORTHLESS AND SHOULDN’T BE A PARENT. GRRRRR. HULKSMASH.

OTG: God, you’re right. I suck.

(Break for a commercial and return to the show with 2 minutes left.)

Steve: It’s okay. Things will be okay.

OTG: WAAAAAH.

And then the show ends.