i have a dirty urethra

If you don’t like reading about things like urine and infections, I’d highly recommend you stop reading riiiight about now.

In my all my life, I’ve had maybe four UTIs – once when I was just out of high school and at my grandparents’ cabin with a friend of mine, once during The 2006 3 Day (where I was in urgent care getting IVs), once about three months ago, and once RIGHT NOW. I know it’s from sticking dirty things in my bagina. I have no idea why all of a sudden bacteria likes to hang out in my urethra, but it gets old pretty quick.

Today, after a lot of prodding from Jenni and knowing that it’d be in my best interest to just fork over the cash, I headed to MinuteClinic where I paid $59 to pee in a cup and get diagnosed with something I knew I already had. And then I paid $31 for 14 pills that is "used to treat acute cystitis". Man, that sounds much more serious than bladder infection.

The nurse practitioner told me to drink cranberry juice every day, but let’s face it – I hate the test of it by itself and there’s no mature adult living with me to force me to drink it. It’d be like her telling me to eat spinach every day. Ain’t happenin’. And you can’t make me! I’ve been taking cranberry tablets and I don’t know if they’re helping because I don’t take them consistently. I’m not that responsible. So what if I’m almost 30.

Man. I’m surprised my dog even gets fed on a regular basis.

Posted in Me


  1. Suzy

    FOr the times you can’t drink Seabreezes, mix cranberry juice in lemon (or lime) sparkling water. The flavoring cuts the tartness of the cranberry and the splenda in the water (either already present of add your own) makes it sweet. Drink well chilled. I drink a bottle a day of this – great for detoxing as well.

  2. Man. I’ve never had a Seabreeze, but you can be damn sure I’m going to start! And probably the other – more sensible – option you mentioned, too!

  3. bibliogrrl

    TAKE CRANBERRY PILLS EVERY DAY YOU NERD. Seriously. They are f’n cheap at Target, and then you don’t have to choke down nasty nasty cranberry juice. You should also take, um, Hell. I’ll ask my sister. There is this other stuff that helps, but I can’t remember what it is. I just take a cran pill every morning and every night and I’m pretty good, and drink a LOT of water. *knock wood* I haven’t had many problems in a while.

    And I used to have a LOT of plumbing problems. Fo reals. Cranberry juice is just GROSS. Now if I could only get rid of this fucking cold. again.

  4. I knew we shouldn’t have spent Christmas rubbing our butts together.

    Seabreezes are totally healthy! Cranberry juice for your bladder, and the vodka’s a disinfectant. It works! I swear.

    I, too, have recently peed in a cup in a drugstore public bathroom and then carried my pee cup across the store in a little brown baggie. One of the weirdest walks I’ve ever taken.

  5. […] Like The Cuz, I’m recovering from a dirty urethra. I, too, have recently carried a cup of my still-warm urine through a drugstore. It’s almost as awesome as it sounds. Post-UTI, I’ve had killer backaches from my body’s attempts to not put any weight on my bladder. The back pain has led to complete hypochondia panic regarding the possibility of my left kidney exploding. […]

  6. I hate the taste of cranberry juice too, but I can tolerate the light kind. It tastes a little bit better… it tastes a whole lot better with malibu rum and pineapple juice.. but I’m not sure if that’s what you’re going for!

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