If you don’t like reading about things like urine and infections, I’d highly recommend you stop reading riiiight about now.

In my all my life, I’ve had maybe four UTIs - once when I was just out of high school and at my grandparents’ cabin with a friend of mine, once during The 2006 3 Day (where I was in urgent care getting IVs), once about three months ago, and once RIGHT NOW. I know it’s from sticking dirty things in my bagina. I have no idea why all of a sudden bacteria likes to hang out in my urethra, but it gets old pretty quick.

Today, after a lot of prodding from Jenni and knowing that it’d be in my best interest to just fork over the cash, I headed to MinuteClinic where I paid $59 to pee in a cup and get diagnosed with something I knew I already had. And then I paid $31 for 14 pills that is "used to treat acute cystitis". Man, that sounds much more serious than bladder infection.

The nurse practitioner told me to drink cranberry juice every day, but let’s face it - I hate the test of it by itself and there’s no mature adult living with me to force me to drink it. It’d be like her telling me to eat spinach every day. Ain’t happenin’. And you can’t make me! I’ve been taking cranberry tablets and I don’t know if they’re helping because I don’t take them consistently. I’m not that responsible. So what if I’m almost 30.

Man. I’m surprised my dog even gets fed on a regular basis.