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easily distracted by awesome

December 17th, 2007 | 2 Comments | Posted in Travel

Dear Costa Mediterranea SS Razzmatazz,

I’ll enjoy seeing you again in January 12th, and I can only wish that we would have left ourselves a note very securely hidden somewhere in the ship, so that we may have ourselves a little treasure hunt upon embarkation Saturday afternoon, just less than one month away.

I know this may be a bit much, but I’m packing as soon as I get back home from Christmas. If it weren’t for my upcoming travel plans, I would be packing my new bandanas (for ATV riding!) right alongside my $1.97 Old Navy board shorts right this very second and not feeling bad about it at all.

Today’s purchase of undershirts, a fancy pants shirt, some capris, and a pair of tennis shoes pretty much have me set to jump on board and settle into cabin 1199 for eight days and seven nights of PURE AWESOME. Four new places! All new adventures! Dancing in the disco until dawn! (We should actually try that!) New BFFs to show around! More afternoon canasta and breakfast by the pool!

I’m looking forward to it greatly. Maybe you’re hiring? We’ll talk about it in January.

Love always,

Wendy

P.S. I already have a chiropractor’s appointment scheduled for January 10, just to make sure my back can handle all of the afternoon naps, laying face down on the deck of the boat, and floating in the pools and/or ocean I plan on doing.

watch me be emo

December 17th, 2007 | Comments Off | Posted in Me

I was going to make this password protected, but A) I couldn’t think of a password and B) I didn’t want to have to answer five billion emails asking what the password was, because I can’t think of an easier way to let people know how to read all of my top secret thoughts.

In any case, today has been a shitty day.

  • My back, thanks to eight hours of baking cookies this weekend, could quite possibly crumble at any second. Ever since The Wreck of ’06, it’s never been the same, and that means I know have to pay out of pocket to visit my friend the chiropractor. Lovely. It hurts to sit, stand, walk, lay, cough, and pee. Yep, that pretty much covers it.
  • Due to allergies, Riley can’t stay inside at my parents house anymore. He has to stay in the garage, which not only scares me, but also makes me sad. A whole hell of a lot sadder than I thought it would.
  • Old Navy doesn’t sell the douchey slip on canvas shoes like they sell online, and I hate the idea of paying a whopping $5 in shipping just because they’re too stupid to carry plus size clothes AND men’s shoes in the stores.
  • I’m supposed to bring clothes down to Missouri that are appropriate for a Christmas Eve church service. So, do I A) dress like myself or B) dress like the small town Baptist church going young lady that will fit in?
  • Each trip to my hometown brings on more and more anxiety before I start the drive down. Each trip back makes me consider therapy a little more than the last time.
  • The season finale of I Love New York 2 is on tonight and if the spoiler video I saw last night was accurate, I’m going to be furious. I get emotionally attached to these desperate reality TV dating idiots, and when they make bad decisions, I don’t even feel sad for them – I just want to give them a roundhouse right into the boobs or a strong knee to the ding-ding.
  • Did I mention my back hurts and I still have to carry down a giant suitcase, Riley’s 20 lb back of dog food, and a good two dozen presents?

I’ll love my life again tomorrow, but right now, I just want to go to sleep and wake up to all of the above list just magically disappearing. FAT CHANCE.