2007 wrap up meme

watch me be emo

I was going to make this password protected, but A) I couldn’t think of a password and B) I didn’t want to have to answer five billion emails asking what the password was, because I can’t think of an easier way to let people know how to read all of my top secret thoughts.

In any case, today has been a shitty day.

• My back, thanks to eight hours of baking cookies this weekend, could quite possibly crumble at any second. Ever since The Wreck of ’06, it’s never been the same, and that means I know have to pay out of pocket to visit my friend the chiropractor. Lovely. It hurts to sit, stand, walk, lay, cough, and pee. Yep, that pretty much covers it.
• Due to allergies, Riley can’t stay inside at my parents house anymore. He has to stay in the garage, which not only scares me, but also makes me sad. A whole hell of a lot sadder than I thought it would.
• Old Navy doesn’t sell the douchey slip on canvas shoes like they sell online, and I hate the idea of paying a whopping $5 in shipping just because they’re too stupid to carry plus size clothes AND men’s shoes in the stores.
• I’m supposed to bring clothes down to Missouri that are appropriate for a Christmas Eve church service. So, do I A) dress like myself or B) dress like the small town Baptist church going young lady that will fit in?
• Each trip to my hometown brings on more and more anxiety before I start the drive down. Each trip back makes me consider therapy a little more than the last time.
• The season finale of I Love New York 2 is on tonight and if the spoiler video I saw last night was accurate, I’m going to be furious. I get emotionally attached to these desperate reality TV dating idiots, and when they make bad decisions, I don’t even feel sad for them – I just want to give them a roundhouse right into the boobs or a strong knee to the ding-ding.
• Did I mention my back hurts and I still have to carry down a giant suitcase, Riley’s 20 lb back of dog food, and a good two dozen presents?

I’ll love my life again tomorrow, but right now, I just want to go to sleep and wake up to all of the above list just magically disappearing. FAT CHANCE.

aveda. piper. awesome.

Well. I missed posting yesterday, which makes me a little sad. Two and a half months straight and then I miss a day, because, well, I had things to do in real life! Those things in real life kind of equate to a bunch of things I need/want to write about in depth. Ooh, boy, lots of reading for you!

I got a haircut yesterday. A real one. At a salon (sort of). Where they massaged my scalp even.

I called earlier this week and made an appointment at the Aveda Institute in Minneapolis. I got there about 20 minutes before my appointment, but ended up getting in pretty soon anyway. While I was waiting on a bench in the lobby-type area, a girl came up and asked if I’d like a hand massage while I wait. At Wal-Mart, I got an oil change while I waited. This kind of gives you a bit of an idea on how different it was, no?

I was texting feverishly with Cindi and Jenni and didn’t hear my new favorite girl in the world (named Piper! I’m so naming all of my female offspring Piper!) call my name. She introduced herself and asked me what I was looking for in a haircut. I always start my story off with "Well, in August, I completely shaved it. And since then, I’ve had two horrible haircuts – both which have resembled an uneven helmet and/or bowl." Then I explained to her that I like to have options – a faux hawk for business time and randomly spiked for rock and roll time. Piper, my new best friend, said – HEY, NO PROBLEM. And then proceeded to tell me how she would do it.

Then here’s how the Aveda Institute works. First, you tell the stylist/student what you want and then they tell you how they’ll do it. Then, they have to go get their instructor and repeat this step, making sure it makes sense to the instructor, too. After their (and your!) approval, you get a scalp massage (A SCALP MASSAGE), followed by a hair washing involving some pretty fantastic rosemary-mint shampoo and conditioner, both which made my head tingle in a very awesome way.

Once she started cutting, she basically explained to me that because of the previous two whack jobs that had taken place, it was going to be a little hard to cut it this way. To wear it the way I want to wear it, my hair needs to be longest in the front. And wouldn’t you know it’s the exact opposite! Piper did what she could with my hair and I was very happy with it. She was worried – very worried – because she didn’t think I liked it. I was very intently watching the lady diaganol from me, who looked like the crabbiest lady in the world, and I have a feeling the expression on my face is what scared my stylist. But I swear it really wasn’t her!

I paid $14 for a fantastic haircut, and then I bought some shampoo and conditioner because DEARLORD it smelled fantastic and made my head feel super awesome. Never mind that it costs 3 times as much as the shampoo I have used prior to the haircut of champions I received yesterday.

I know you all want to see pictures, but here’s the thing. It’s not really where it should be because it has to grow. So settle yourselves.  You’ll get pictures when it’s presentable!

My favorite part? At the end of my haircut, Piper had to fill out some paperwork for her grade. And bless her little head massaging soul, she had to ask me if I wanted to get some finishing makeup before I left for the day. She prefaced the question with, "I really have to ask you this, just because it’s part of my grade" and then when I politely replied with "Um, no thanks!", she said, "I kinda knew that, but I have to ask." I promised her next time I went to prom, I’d come there and let her do my makeup.

I will be going back prior to the cruise, just for a little trimmy trim. I need to look nice and proper for the honies in the Eastern Caribbean.