lance bass: pioneer of everything

Some dude in New York City saw the girl of his dreams on the subway this past weekend. Instead of manning up and saying something at the time, he was a gigantic pussy. He raced home, registered a domain name, drew a pretty picture, and now is like some viral message that will eventually get the right person and become some gigantic retarded news story. (Although, I have my doubts on whether the girl will see it online, since he mentions she was using an actual paper journal while on the train. Damn, girl with the rosy cheeks and blue gym shorts, who still does that??

But listen. This has been done before. In 2001. In a movie called On the Line, featuring Lance Bass, Joey Fatone, Richie Sambora, and a special non-credited guest appearance by Justin Timberlake, who portrayed a gay stylist. Oh, the irony. If this dude’

Should this stunt be some type of guerrilla marketing technique for the premier of On The Line 2, I might break something.

Now, if we’ve learned anything from Lance Bass, it’s been, in no particular order, the following:

  1. If you see a girl you like on the train in any major metropolitan area, just say something.
  2. Wait until your career in a boy band is over before you come out of the closet.
  3. After coming out, WRITE A BOOK just like your ex-boyfriend, Reichen Leinenkugel (or whatever the fuck his last name was).
  4. If you think your name is falling out of the news, just talk to a magazine – ANY magazine.
  5. Claim the first person you came out to was Britney Spears. Definitely Britney Spears.


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