almost hump day bits

  1. I’m in the process of watching Flicka (the remake), which stars Tim McGraw. Even the six seconds of Tim McGraw shirtless hasn’t made up for the shittiness of the movie. Sorry, Tim. It may be over between us.
  2. Before that, I watched A Mighty Heart, mainly because Angelina Jolie is a fine piece of ass actress. It was surprisingly good.
  3. Lardass Riley is a grown man. Over the past week or so, he’s started staying in my bed anytime I’m not A) offering to take him outside or B) eating something he thinks he might get. Prior to that, he’d never be in a room by himself.
  4. Remember how I got a job? And then that job didn’t work out? Turns out it’s gonna work out again; just not until January 21st. Long, publicly unpublishable story, but overall, okay end results!

Oh, and so Halloween. I dressed as Kevin Federline. I won the overall grand prize last year, meaning I wasn’t eligible to win again and got to spend a good part of Saturday night judging people. MY FAVORITE. I did a lot of research for just the right clothes and it involved a lot of time on MySpace and TeamKevin.com (like 12 minutes), and it required a lot of time shopping at Goodwill, Wal-Mart, and Michael’s (and probably another 19 minutes).

I was trying for the perfect balance between the gas station shopping K-Fed and the cleaned up, I-want-custody-and-child-support K-Fed. So, with careful consideration, I mixed the two together, resulting in the following side-by-side comparison:

I worked a whole ten minutes on that shirt, kids.

Jenni took this picture as the party started, when I showed up with Jayden James (or Sean Preston, I couldn’t tell) in his brand new baby carrier. I left him under the alcohol table for a little while, but then we did some bonding. The baby did end up having a really great time. I think he got a bit out of control, though, or maybe his tolerance is just really low. And, um, later, his head got popped off, and turned into a beverage container for some mix of raspberry vodka and some type of watermelon-flavored Boone’s Farm. I think this will really help the custody case!

One Comment

  1. Oh my god! The baby in the Taco Bell bag, complete with name tag and return-to info, is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. You are so funny!

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