the fattest dog in all the land

I think probably owe you two posts from the worthless piece of shit I wrote last night as I woke up from a three hour nap on the couch.

Riley had a schedule appointment with the vet today to take care of his bi-annual comprehensive exam – he gets a couple of shots, they look at his poop, he gets a beautiful bandana, and we call it a day. It’s a drop off situation and the doctor generally calls to let me know when it’s time to pick him up, tells me that he’s always such a good boy, and asks me if I have any questions.

Except today she called me and told me he was overweight. SERIOUSLY. I think they must have called him fat a few times before I got there, because I’ve had to deal with this all day:

He’s not morbidly obese or anything; he just needs to lose five pounds. Yeah, you and me both, pooch, you and me both.


What's up?