i’ll start a paypal account for his salary

While I’m glad my second favorite baseball team kicked some pretty good ass last night, I still can’t stop thinking about what the Twins are going to do with Torii Hunter.

"I’m kind of disappointed, but what can you do?" Hunter told the St. Paul Pioneer Press. "That’s my home team; I want to be with my home team. But there are no talks, no progress at all. It’s still the same. But there’s still a lot of time left."

He doesn’t hit the most homeruns in the league or steal more bases than anyone else, but I’m okay with that. When have the Twins ever had someone like that, right?

Here’s the thing. We need him. Sure, Joe Mauer’s got hot side burns, a great ass, and the local charm. And Justin Morneau’s got a great bat and is usually consistent playing first base. Those guys are great, but we have absolutely nobody that has any heart at all if Torii Hunter’s not on the team.

I have a proposal. I realize he turned down a $15 million contract offer from the Twins already, but that maybe if we all write strongly worded letters to the Twins front office and send Torii Hunter nice cards telling him now much we love him, he’ll change his mind and let the tight-ass Twins front office make monthly payments to him. I think this is gonna work.