five weeks in and i suck

I had a shitastic week with fantasy football this week, and it doesn’t help matters much that the weeks leading up to that, I had nearly shitastic weeks. I’m in four leagues this year, and am only doing reasonably well in the one where I’m the commissioner. That doesn’t reek of cheating at all. To my somewhat weak defense, all four teams were auto-drafted, so that could be why I have awesome quarterbacks like Matt Schaub, who’s often listed with projected fantasy points of below zero.

Here’s how I’m doing, with my team name listed in parentheses.

League 1 (Street Whores): This particular league, though, has 12 teams, and we play two quarterbacks every week. That means there are 24 (for you math-challenged folks) quarterbacks in play each week, leaving eight super-scrubby quarterbacks floating around out there that are usually used as trade bait or tucked away for a bye week. Picking up players in that league sucks ass.  This week, I have no choice but to start Shaun Alexander, Michael Bennett, and Ron Dayne at running back. I’d never even heard of Ron Dayne. Hopefully my random pick up of Kurt Warner a few weeks ago (because I had Matt Leinhart, and thought I’d look into the injury future) will pay off this week and I can get out of 8th place. I’m playing the team that’s currently in first, and the same team that one the league last year, so I’m not gonna hold my breath on this one.

League 2 (Twodolla Whores): This is my commish league that I’ve been running for quite a few years. I got my ass handed to me last week, and fell into 2nd place with a 4-1 record. Rick’s on top now, which is okay with me as long as it’s temporary! I’ve been starting Peyton Manning every week, but Eli’s been putting up better fantasy numbers. As long as the younger Manning brother doesn’t disappoint me this week, I may keep Peyton on the bench for a while! I’ll show you, Mr. Commercial Man. I was excited to draft Larry Johnson, but his season hasn’t really exploded like I thought it would. Clinton Portis and LaMont Jordan aren’t exactly tearing up the field either, so this week could be another interesting one. And by interesting, I mean horribly embarassing.

League 3 (Twodolla Nosetackles): Put together by the folks that hang out timelessly on MNSpeak eight days a week (I read the posts through Google Reader as to avoid the inane comments you’ll wind up seeing if you actually click on that link), this is my second year in this league.  I’m currently in 4th place, but the top six teams all have a 3-2 record. I’ve got Michael Pittman and Marc Bulger sitting on my bench right now, knowing damn good and well I should drop them, but there’s really nobody available that’s got me quite ready to do that. Considering Brett Favre is my starting QB, it probably wouldn’t be a bad idea to pick someone else up. I’m expecting his current run to fall cold any second. I could either move to 1st or 6th after this week’s game.

League 4 (Fancy Pants): I had to join a public league; it’s just what I do. I’m in dead last place, too. I should technically be tied for last, because three of us have a 1-3 record, but whatever. At least there’s nowhere to go but up at this point. (Why, yes, the glass IS always full!)  I just picked up David Garrard today, and am planning on starting him Sunday at QB unless he gets hit by a truck. Yahoo!’s project matchup says I should kick my opponent’s ass this week. However, my opponent, whose team name is nflzcolr has both a quarterback and a kicker in their line up that won’t be playing this week due to a Bye week. Hopefully they’ll change it. I like to win fair and square, bitches.

I promise there won’t be too many more of these posts, because good God, they’re boring.

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