the past 20 years

You have to blame Jenni for this.

20 Years Ago

Um, I was 9. And I guess that means I was in 5th grade? And if that’s the case, I hated one of my teachers a lot, because she wouldn’t let me go to the middle school one day a week for my gifted class like I’d been doing for the past three years. My BFF was Angie and I probably spent every weekend at her house from Friday night until Sunday afternoon, because holy crap, there were a lot of places we had to ride to on bike. .

15 years ago

I was a freshman in high school. This time of the year, I was balancing marching band rehearsals and performances with basketball practice and games, and it was not working. I had a gigantic (possibly unhealthy) crush on my band teacher, and because of that, had just taken up my 3rd musical instrument. I’m pretty sure I still spent very weekend with my aforementioned BFF.

10 years ago

I’d already dropped out of one college (a private Methodist college) and reenrolled in another (a local community college). I was working my way up to assistant manager at Mazzio’s Pizza and probably also working part-time at Taco Bell. I took a lot of road trips by myself making an effort to somewhat escape the town of 20,000 I’d always lived in. I drove to Kansas City a lot in my 2001 Grand Am to visit my 1 year old cousin.

5 years ago

I lived in Eden Prairie and had made one friend, who was also my roommate. I’d just moved out of a very bad situation in St. Paul, so it was probably a step up from that. Holy crap, I’m glad I made it out of those two places alive. I was working in a sales-type job at Best Buy and was really awesome at it. I was also pretty fucked up in the head and didn’t have the sense enough to talk to anyone about it. Oh so sorry, five years ago, but you sucked a lot.

2 years ago

I had my puppy, but he was staying somewhere else, which I would later realize was a very toxic, one-sided, and manipulative relationship. I had new friends that were incredibly awesome, and through them/because of them, I finally got to be not-so-fucked-up (without prescription medication) and realized who I was and who I didn’t have to pretend to be anymore.  And also had a pretty awesome job, and a house with two roommates. I’d just finished my first 3 Day and realized that was going to be part of my life for the rest of my life.

1 year ago

I was busy! I’d just went to my 10 year class reunion, where I was easily able to declare I was the most awesome. Had a car wreck that fucked my back and neck up super bad. Went to Chicago with Stephanie. Spent quality time with my homies. Moved into my own place, which is the best thing ever (the feeling, not the actual place). Did a lot of weight-lifting. Went to my first hockey game. Met more new friends. Did my 2nd 3 Day. Helped make the 612 party an ongoing awesome party. Went to New Jersey for the 2nd time. Went to Phoenix for work. Spent a lot of time reading about Kevin Federline.

So far this year

Went to Vegas. Took a Caribbean cruise, where I lit said a cruise ship on fire, and got lost in the Dominican Republic with only 500 pesos. I’ve gotten two tattoos and made an appointment for the 3rd later this month. Raised a shitload of money for The 3 Day. Celebrated a lot of awesomeness. Paid off a good chunk of debt. Became an ordained minister. Got my first passport.  Did a whole hell of a lot of dancing. Went to some Twins game. Fell in love with the Minnesota Lynx. Went to North Dakota, Montana, Chicago, Milwaukee, and St. Louis. Met more new friends.  Got to show my parents around my ‘hood. Interviewed for some jobs. Went camping. Loved myself and my friends a whole hell of a lot. Holy shit. There are still two months to go, too.

Did the Walk of Shame from Cindi’s at 7 a.m. after a night of drinking, slept for three hours, took Riley to the groomer, watched Shrek 3, picked Riley up, watched TV, went to Cindi’s sister’s house for a BBQ with her folks, watched more TV. Called it a night.


I called half a billion potential clients, but they’re all on break this week. Learned that those 5-hour energy shots you can buy at a gas station have 8333% of your daily B12 intake. (that’s not an exaggeration.) Did some paperwork-y type shit. I’m gonna go home, fold laundry, watch some TV, and maybe have some dinner out of a box of some kind.


More work. More voicemails. More TV. Maybe I’ll make my bed. And by make I mean actually put sheets on it.

Posted in Me


  1. Too bad there wasn’t a 6-8 years ago category. With all of the crazy stuff we did during that time, who knows what you could have written about!

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