damn you, britney

I love writing about my dreams, especially when I keep wanting to go back to sleep to finish them.

I was grocery shopping with three people that I don’t recall. We were in the back of the store, in the wine section, when a parade of people started marching single file past the aisle and into the swinging doors that all grocery stores have. We all crouched down while the gunman pushed them all in the door. I’m pretty sure the robber guy shot the three dudes I was with, because I made a run for it.

Once I got out of the front doors, I called 911 and just left my phone on the sidewalk. Why, you ask? Because I saw Britney Spears sitting in the corner, next to a window, making faces at one of her kids. BUT SHE WAS ALSO CRYING.

I walked over to her, and she seemed scared. I’m assuming that part of it, though, but she did curl up into the fetal position, while her son was on the inside of the window banging on it.

I assured Britney I was only there to help, so she finally uncurled herself and we started talking. She wanted to know the name of the contact person that did web design at the old ISP I used to work for, because she was sure if her website looked better, her image would look better. In the middle of this conversation, I had to run back over to the grocery store that was being robbed to get my Medal of Honor for calling the police.

When I went back to continue my conversation with Britney, she was gone, but her kid was still inside this storefront. I had to break a window to get him out, but then, I adopted him.

Not only did I save a grocery store full of people from a crazed gunman, but I also saved a toddler from his crazy mom. I AM A HERO.

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