It’s possible that I’ve been doing a lot of thinking when it comes to my professional future. No real reason this month, I guess, but I’d be lying if I said I never thought about owning my own business. Who hasn’t?
What would my million-dollar-making self-owned venture be? Something awesome, I’m sure, and it would surely involve bringing my dog to work every day and a refrigerator stocked with caffeine-free pop, so I don’t get tired of drinking Orange Sunkist all day long like I do at my current job.
I figure, I’d need an awesome neon sign regardless of what industry I’d be busy dominating. And I’d also need the best of any small business phone systems I could find. It’d have to have overhead paging, so we could be lazy and not have to actually get up to talk to each other. And instead of a secretary, I’d have to have an auto-attendant on the phone that sounded just like Samuel L. Jackson, so then people might be afraid to hang up if all of our “customer care specialists were busy helping other customers” or we’re too busy playing flip cup in the lunchroom.
Plus, phones like these? They look even cooler than the Star Trek crap that I’m used to using at my current job, and nothing says success like awesome looking phones.
Did I forget to mention that it’d probably be a good idea for everyone involved if customers weren’t actually allowed inside whatever business I start up? That might be key in not getting shut down by the Better Bidness Bureau.