so the weekend

  • I keep trying to do a recap about The 3 Day, but it’s just not working. Twice my browser has crashed midway through, so clearly it’s a sign you’re never supposed to know about it.
  • If someone can tell me how my dog’s mouth can smell like an ass a mere 24 hours after he got breath spray at the groomer, that’d be great.
  • I actually had fun at a wedding I went to yesterday with a ton of co-workers and their spouses. I was expecting to hate it a lot.
  • I’m ready for the first frost, because my ankles itch all the time and I’m blaming it on some sort of ankle-high bug that keeps attacking me at all hours of the day.

I went to a Twins game today with my Work BFFâ„¢ and we sat in Douchebag Central. The man (Asshole McGee™)in front of us was there was his 4.5 year old kid named Logan and the kid’s grandma, which after hearing her tell a random stranger this, I found out Asshole McGeeâ„¢ was her youngest son.

Logan’s grandpa was sitting about eight rows in front of us, due to what was probably handicapped seating being available there. Logan really wanted to see his grandpa, and at one point must have started walking towards him. Asshole McGeeâ„¢ saw him do this and slammed the kid down into his seat and did some form of belittling and/or embarrassing him. The kid’s grandma tried to distract him by offering him popcorn and telling him he could see his grandpa later. But Asshole McGeeâ„¢ said, “Stop babying him; he needs discipline. Keep it up and I’ll crack you, too.”

The grandma was talking about religion, asking the guy next to me if he believed in the Resurrection. We think she was concerned by the two guys sitting in front of her that had on yarmulkas, and she had to make sure the entire Metrodome wasn’t full of people who believed differently than her. She also made mention of everyone that comes in to our country should have to follow Christianity, since that’s the most popular religion in the U.S.

In the top of the 9th inning, Asshole McGeeâ„¢ started to get all wound up, because the Twins were playing like crap. They were “fucking idiots” and a “bunch of fucking Kindygardners (typed like he said it, of course) could play better than that”. By about the 20th time he made some snide comment, I’d had enough and gave him about fourteen earfuls, with the last one telling him to leave if he didn’t like it.

After the game, the three of them hightailed it up the stairs, but not before Asshole McGeeâ„¢ knocked me in the top of the head with his forearm when I was putting my camera in my pocket. I said, “pardon me, asshole”, because I didn’t want to be the rude one.


  1. Good grief. I wish people like that would just stay inside. Except for the kid, of course. Hopefully he’ll be out in the world enough to realize that his family carries the douchebag gene, but that his predisposition toward douchebaggery can be overcome with a little education.

  2. PeeWee

    I don’t know if I said it, but thanks for walking. It is really great that you get out there to raise money for boobs.

What's up?