two dolla

all tied together

My department director (who I love a lot) was walking through our cube farm with a cigar cutting tool, clicking it back and forth. I’m certain he was trying to think of a way to get one of my fingers in it without me noticing, but I kept my hands out of his reach.

He started telling me about a different type of cigar cutter, and I had no idea where he was going with the story. It’s his tendency to talk about things that aren’t relevant at all, and eventually tie them to something that’s gonna make sense or be of interest to me. But cigars? That’s gonna be a reach.

Turns out, he he was referring to an incident back in 1999 where Michael Jordan was screwing around with his cigar cutting device and clipped off part of his finger.

Jordan would not have been ready for the start of this delayed season even if he had wanted to play. He’ll undergo surgery next week to repair a tendon in his right index finger that Jordan said he severed while using a cigar cutter during a vacation in the Bahamas.

The awesome thing? I completely remembered that and knew it was towards the end of his playing days. It was actually right before he retired from the Washington Wizards. My boss, however, was convinced that it was well after his playing days.

Point of the story? My Michael Jordan knowledge is not something to challenge.

i miss my dentist

You know what sucks? I got my wisdom teeth pulled and all that crap and that wasn’t even the source of the pain that was causing me to, you know, CRY. It’s an old filling from probably 15 years ago that’s slowing falling out and slowly allowing crap to get in there (like AIR) and make me be a big ol’ baby.

Good thing I made my other dentist appointment today. Bad thing I couldn’t even get in until the 18th because I have to wait two more weeks before my mouth is “back to normal” and then his office is closed the first week of July. That means I’ll be traveling to five different states (North Dakota, Montana, Wisconsin, Missouri, and Illinois) before then.
Son of a crap. That Vicodin better last me until then.

(Oh, and don’t worry. Once I get all my teef issues straightened out, it’ll be about time for The 3 Day. And if last year was any indication, I’ll have another couple of months of bitching about my injuries! You all win!)

i might like your ideas better

Some of you readers from way back will remember this, but for those new to these parts, one of my grandmas passed away in May of 2003. She was absolutely, positively one of my most favorite people in the whole world. In short, we had an incredible relationship and there’s rarely a day that goes by when I don’t think of her. Not to get entirely spiritual, but I’m certain she’s taking care of me every day.

The weekend I’ll be in St. Louis will mark her birthday, and I’ve decided that I want to get a tattoo as a tribute or in memory of her.

I’ve watched enough Miami Ink to know what I don’t want, but I’m still having trouble to decide what I exactly do want. After all, it’s permanent and stuff.

I emailed my brother for some ideas. To my brother, I write: “so, if i asked you the first 3 things you thought of when you thought of grandma (her last name), what would they be?” and he responds with some artwork:

Why, yes, that is a fish jumping from a frying pan while fishing for chapstick in one picture and the exact opposite on the other side. No, he’s not special needs… he’s just special.

My grandma was nuts about fishing, could cook anything in the world and have it turn out incredible, and was a big fan of the chapstick. Unfortunately, the only skill she passed on to me was that of the fishin’. Yeah, you guys didn’t know that about me, did ya? I’M A FISHERMAN AND A DAMN GOOD ONE. I just don’t go anymore.

In any case, I need some ideas. Obviously, it’ll be up to me in the end because it has to look good and feel right and all that stuff, but I’m absolutely 100% open to suggestions that I maybe haven’t thought of yet. And quite honestly, I haven’t thought of a lot of them. I think this one is probably more important to me than any other ones I’ve been thinking of.

So, whatcha got? Don’t be shy about commenting, but if you are, you can email me, too. I’m a good emailer. Most of the time.

i am a champion

You all know that I’m a champion, but let me tell you why I deserve that title tonight!

1.) I correctly hooked up my digital cable to work alongside my TiVo. I was near fits of rage last night because I couldn’t figure it out, but a cooler head (and the help of TiVo’s tech support) prevailed. I will soon have my season pass set for American Gladiators and whatever digital music channels I want. I’ll totally get my extra $6.99/month worth for the next six months.

2.) I did the whole pay it forward thing and made nice with the hooligan neighborhood kids. The TiVo lady was nice to me, so when Riley kicked into attack mode, I called him inside and apologized to the little heathens. Then, I told them that he was more scared of them then they were of him, and they didn’t have anything to worry about. One by one, all 14 of them had to come over and pet my poor pooch. He was scared out of his mind and kept looking back at me as they put their grimy little hands up to them. But now all is well in the world and maybe they’ll stop spitting their gum out in front of my door.

i love the lynx a lot

Know what my favorite thing is right now? Lynx basketball. I forgot how much I loved basketball until sitting just a few rows up from courtside the past few games. When Kevin Garnett is five rows in front of me, or when I can read the rough drafts of what the media is putting together as a story, it’s hard not to like being that close to the action.

I love that it’s a professional sport where women are actually playing the game. I love that it takes places in an actual huge venue (in the Lynx case, it’s the Target Center) and not some generic half-size arena. I love that the crowd really gets into every play. I love that the players sitting on the bench get so excited during the game that they can barely sit down.

I love all the players. Seimone Augustus is an incredible player with extraordinary talent, but yet she seems so humble during every game that you’d never think she was the Rookie of the Year last year and leads the league in scoring as of right now. I love Lindsey Harding, not only because we got a hell of a deal in the draft by snatching her up, but because she plays like she’s been a pro for years and has more assists than anyone else in the league. I love Kristen Mann for a lot of reasons – she plays like she’s taller than 6’1″, she’s physical as hell, and she can drain a three-pointer just as easy as she can a free throw. I love the rest of the team, too.

I thought before the season that I should have just grabbed up a season ticket, because I would end up going to all of the games anyway. Next year, I definitely am. Friday’s game will be my fourth game this season, and anytime I’m in town on the day of a game, I’m going.

Here are my pictures from Saturday’s game, and my favorites are here:

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365.1

365.1

Originally uploaded by twodolla

I’m giving this whole 365 self-portraits for a year thing a try. I’m not so good with sticking with things, so we’ll see how it all works out in the end.
I bought Guitar Hero II maybe a month or two ago, and have been hooked ever since. I’m pretty sure I play it every day, and earlier today (well, Saturday actually) I bumped my skill level up to HARD.

Those three months of guitar lessons I had as a wee lass with some fella named Tony have finally come to pay off for something – advanced video game skills.

i checked and there’s no fire

I finally decided to start a new category, mainly because I bitch a lot about apartment life.

FOR INSTANCE.

Lightning struck near my building just a few minutes ago, so part of the power went out. Only half of my apartment loses power when this happens, and I haven’t really figured that one out yet. I just know every time it happens, it causes my fire alarm to go off non-stop until it’s fixed. It’s honestly the most beautiful sound in all the land, if you’re into the high pitched screeching that makes dogs lose their mind and nervously lick their paws.

And also people that had their wisdom teeth pulled on Thursday. (You’re damn right I’m gonna milk this when I can.)

It’s been going off since 11:30. I called the emergency maintenance line at midnight, and someone said he’d be right over to look at it. It’s 12:30 now, and my apartment complex is all of two buildings. For some reason, I’m thinking he didn’t get lost, but maybe fell back to sleep in his apartment where the fire alarm isn’t screeching like a dying pterodactyl.

my wisdom teeth removal experience

When I found out I had to get those damn things pulled, I was less than looking forward to it; I just knew it had to be done. I also knew it had to be done ASAP, because the bottom ones were causing cavities in my molars, which was the course of my constant tooth pain.

The first referral my awesome dentist gave me was to a place that couldn’t get me in for a consultation until 6/22 and the actual removal wouldn’t take place until sometime in July. I gladly took the second referral, which happen to work out absolutely fine, despite my oral surgeon looking like a used really unsuccessful used car salesman in his photograph hanging in the lobby.

My appointment was at 2:45 yesterday afternoon, and I had be there at 2:30 to do some preliminary paperwork. I wasn’t allowed to eat or drink all day, so imagine me nervous, scared, and hungry and you’ll get a not too chipper and awkwardly retarded acting Wendy. This would explain me standing up in the lobby, turning around, and announcing to the receptionist that I had to pee. Hey, I did! And there was a very large warning on the paperwork that said to pee before getting knocked out or you would pee yourself. I’m guessing on that last part, but I didn’t want to test that theory.

Soon enough, I was called back to the chair, and I was sure to tell Cindi that I wanted to go to the beach when I was all done. The nurse put me in a chair, took my blood pressure, which was abnormally high (144/92) for me. She assured me that it was probably because I was scared, and I knew it was, but usually I can calm myself down enough to have normal blood pressure. THAT’S HOW SCARED I WAS.

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lots of bling

Jenni made this, but I’m stealing it to post here, because it makes me laugh a lot. And will probably cause seizures at some point:

i survived!

Good news! I did not die!

Cindi took the afternoon off to babysit/drive me and her shift just ended! Granted, I don’t have a car (probably a good idea), but I do have Gatorade and pudding to eat until my heart is content.

An x-ray, yanking four teeth out, and getting somewhat back to my senses lasted about an hour and fifteen minutes. I’m not swollen much anymore, and my mouth doesn’t hurt. I’m just dribbling blood a few places.

My doctor called (from his cell phone!) less than an hour after I got home and really, I just want a hamburger or some pizza right now.

Man, I gotta find some stuff to do or I’m gonna be bored out of my mind quite quickly. You see, I’m not much of a sit-at-home-and-do-nothing type of person anymore.

I wonder if I can play Guitar Hero ALL NIGHT LONG.

Hey, only two weeks until my next dentist appointment, which involves taking care of some old fillings. Man, I’m glad I started this whole going to the dentist thing. It’s turned into a lot of fun.

(There are 8 Muslin men outside of my apartment door right now. Seriously. I’m about to put on my new basketball jersey and go take Riley outside.)