mister tough guy

Some kid just called my dog “That Crazy Motherfucker”. It was so hard for me not to laugh – is that wrong?

Here’s the deal. Anytime I’m home and the temperature is above freezing, I have my balcony door open. Riley loves it out there and he spends a lot of time just standing there, surveying the land, which is he clearly responsible for protecting.

My apartment is technically on the first floor, but my balcony is about four feet off the ground. Too high to climb onto; trust me, because I’ve tried. When people walk by it on the outside, it generally comes up to a 12 to 13-year old boy’s forehead or a adult’s shoulders. In other words, if you’re walking close enough to it, you’re gonna come snout to snout with the most ferocious puppy in all the land. I mean, just look at this picture of him that Jenni took on Sunday. HE IS A KILLER.

When people walk by the balcony, he throws a fit. He growls and barks and charges into the railing like he’s really going to kill someone. It usually sends these 11-14 year old kids screaming and running in fear. It’s only funny to me, because I know he can’t possibly get to them. And anyone that’s met Riley can attest that he’s the gentlest dog in the whole freaking world.

So, when I was outside a few minutes ago, watching him squat while he pees, listening to some 12 year old wanna-be-badass tell his friends that my dog was that crazy motherfucker that tries to attack him every time he walks by, I took great pride in it. My little wussy of a dog is intimidating. Click here if you think I clearly have the best alarm system around! I know that’s kind of a joke, I need to actually get motion sensors and an emergency connection, but to be honest I’m not that afraid.

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