don’t tell the cops

I have somehow managed to misplace my driver’s license and debit card. This is not exactly the most convenient thing ever.

I needed to by some adult beverages for the 612.5 party that you’re all coming to (right?), but you kind of need to have a valid ID and, you know, cash to do that. I had my passport, and that was good enough to cash a check at the bank, but I couldn’t get any liquor store to answer their damn phone and tell me if it was okay to use as ID to buy the bottom-shelf liquor that I needed to get. There was only one solution I could think of – have Jenni buy booze for me. And actually, that was were suggestion, but it seemed like a logical one to me.
I’m 29. Jenni’s 33. Do you see how we’re both legal? Like very legal? Right.

We met outside of Sid’s Discount Liquor (no kidding; that’s the real name), where I gave her $150 in cash. I did not need $150 in liquor and the thing is, I’m sure Jenni would have put it on her debit card and I could have just paid her back, but ohcrap! we needed to take care of this money transaction beforehand to seem less suspicious.

We did our shopping – horrible shopping at that, but when you’re buying liquid entertainment for 50+ people, you save money where you can – and then it was time to check out. Oh man, so nervous!

I don’t really think the kid at the cash register even checked Jenni’s ID, but I was too busy trying not to make eye contact with him or the girl that was shoving our bottles into an old wine box. I didn’t want to seem obvious that I didn’t have a valid ID saying I was old enough to purchase a five gallon bucket of vodka that only cost $9.78.

In any case, we got everything we needed and didn’t get arrested in the process. Afterwards, I asked the bartender at TGI Friday’s (clearly the most knowledgeable bartender around) if a passport would work to buy drinks at a bar, and she assured me it was even better than a driver’s license. I stuck with water all night anyway, which means one thing.

I made it through all day yesterday without one drop of caffeine. That could explain my headache right now, but it’s nothing a few Aleve washed down by a liter of water can’t fix.

Posted in Me


  1. i totally have used my passport several times to do everything I’d normally do with a licenses. including buy liquor at liquor stores and go out to all kinds of bars.

    my brother actually stole my passport when i was in college and it was still at my parents house and totally got it confiscated at a bar in Arizona. fucker.

What's up?