two dolla

buy a ticket, win a prize

Tomorrow is Boobylicious Trivia II at Hooters!! We’re holding a big raffle there, for the following items:

• Pair of Twins tickets in the 2nd row along the first base line (game in July)
• 4 St Paul Saints tickets (any game)
• 4 rounds of golf at a 9-hole executive course in Maplewood
• 4 tickets to ComedySportz
• 20 passes for 2 people for any non-national show at the Fine Line
• $150 in gift certificates to the Lone Tree
• $100 gift certificate for Whitey’s
• $40 gift certificate for Uncle Franky’s
• Gift Certificate for a one-hour massage
• 1-yr subscription to Lavender Magazine

More prizes are constantly being added. If you can’t make it but still want the chance to win one of those fabulous items AND support our team at the same time, you can buy raffle tickets online until 5pm tomorrow. We will personally fill out your tickets and put them in the drawing at Hooters tomorrow. Tickets are $2 apiece, or $5 for three. You can order as many as you want, of course, just put the total amount in the form on Paypal. Click here to order raffle tickets!

i will always call him screech or an asshole

I’ve been watching Celebrity Fit Club on VH1. It’s a horrible show, but it’s on right before (or possibly after, I don’t know) Flavor of Love: Charm School, which is an even more horrible show that I’m addicted to. Dustin Diamond Screech, from Saved by the Bell, is on it, and holy shit, he is one giant asshole.

For starters, I’d just like to point out that Screech auditioned for a role on Cool as Ice, but his scenes were cut. This could quite possibly be an explanation where some of his anger comes from. In the May 2006 issue of Stuff magazine, readers voted Diamond the third most annoying former child actor that they would like to punch in the face. His whole plea to get people to buy $15 shirts to help him not foreclose on his house was a farce. (I seriously love Wiikipedia.)

On Celebrity Fit Club, he gets furious when people accidentally call him Screech instead of his real name. He calls it disrespectful and then goes off on some tirade about how he’s been “in the business” for 22 years, so he deserves some respect. He was also in Saved by the Bell: The New Class, which I don’t consider “in the business” or giving him a reason to be respected.

I kind of don’t even want to watch Saved by the Bell in the mornings before work (shut up), because he’s such an ass now. At least Mario Lopez (Slater) was on Dancing with the Stars and is now the host of Pet Star, and even Zack Morris went on to do things other than porn that feature people like Screech and Dirty Sanchez.

Man, I should not be so mad about this, people from Saved by the Bell should always remain wholesome, with the exception of the movie Showgirls.

baby at the roxbury

I’ve learned that anytime I need something to laugh about, I can inevitably go to The Cuz’s YouTube videos and find something, usually some intriguing performance, that my favorite second-cousin is up to.

This one not only makes me laugh, but it also reminds that we are related… so related.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrkZp6RRwTA[/youtube]

cupcakes!

It’s Friday and I’m happy. I’m not gonna question all that are making me happy; I’m just gonna go with it.

Last night was Dining Out for Life. I had dinner and drinks (I still hate the word cocktails.) with Jenni, Matt, and Cindi at The Independent, where I may have asked the lady at the table next to us dressed in a wild safari print shirt if she wanted to choke my chicken. But to be fair, I was having a drink called Chicken.

I dropped Cindi off at home and then met Desi, M, Melanie, and Eric at Pi (not a math club. Really.). They’d already eaten (also Dining Out for Life!), so I just joined them for some chit chat and pool. A pool hustler needs to go on my list of careers I want to eventually do, just as soon as I can pull it off.

I went home and made cupcakes, which I iced AND SPRINKLED this morning. We had a potluck dinner at work to celebrate Admin Day that was this past Wednesday. Our department only functions because we have the best admin in the world. Without her, we’d be walking around eating lead paint, I’m sure of it.

Today, Jenni, Matt, and I have laid the groundworks for an awesome road trip in August. Details soon to follow.

Tonight, Cindi and I are going to Matt’s Bar for hamburgers injected with cheese. Tomorrow is brunch and a Craft Fair (shut up), and possibly some video games at Dave & Buster’s if I feel like driving a long way. And then Sunday is Picnic Day, which sounds like the best idea ever right now.

Yeah, it’s good now. I’ll remember this next time I’m crabby!

ai: are you kidding?

Virtual Elvis Presley? Do you really think he’d be down with that? And having him sing with a hoser like Celine Dion?

Hey, there’s one way to get me to stop watching your show, Fox. Doing something as asinine as having Celine Dion on stage trying a) out-diva Elvis and b) pretending she’s looking into his eyes is a sure fire way to get your season pass revoked from my Tivo.

Holy balls, this is stupid.

hulk smash!!

I start out the day crabby, like very crabby. Everyone in the world was making me mad and I did not know why. And to be honest, I still don’t know why, but I hate it when I get that angry. I’m like the Incredible Hulk, except I don’t turn that shade of green. But I’m okay now. At least I don’t want to Hulk Smash anything.

I may possibly be making cupcakes tomorrow night for a work lunch, and again Saturday for GAY DAY, the gayest day in all the land!, which I’m retardedly excited for and somehow feel like I need! I’m mainly just excited to spend the day/afternoon with the most awesome friends in the world, being lazy in awesome weather, and bringing my dog along with me.

On a work related note, if I make my yearly quota, I get to go here. Yeah, I know. Awesome. I get to bring a friend, too, which will be harder to decide upon than actually making my quota, I think!

reasons for my crabbiness

1. Aside from work and the dog park, I haven’t ventured outside of my apartment since Saturday afternoon.
2. I have to use my gym membership and/or passport to pick my Twins/Royals tickets up tonight.
3. I haven’t had caffeine for a week.
4. I’ve misplaced several very important things during the week I haven’t had caffeine.
5. I haven’t had sugary type things for like two weeks. SERIOUSLY.
6. I don’t know why else I’m crabby; I just am!

I hate being crabby. Seriously.

But also, The Weblog Review, which is run by my friend Brent who hosts two dolla, is back up and running in fine form.

ai: idol gives back part 1

You know what’s really hard? Trying to take Ryan Seacrest seriously. If the world ever comes to an end and we know about it well in advance, I would highly suggest having Ryan tell the world, because he can’t possibly be serious. The world as you know it will be coming to an end on… after the break.

My Tivo tells me the six finalists perform songs about compassion and music tonight. While I’m sure he’s a great kid, I’m glad Sanjaya isn’t coming back this week to butcher yet another style of song.

More »

glutes made for walkin’

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py4VDE8wI9M[/youtube]

Ellen DeGeneres shows this on her show at least once a week and I seriously can’t stop being creeped out about it.

(Is it obviously I now have a plugin that lets me embed YouTube videos? Except I can’t figure out why they show up just as links on RSS readers.)

i do good things

“I do good things. If you want to make a good thing into a bad thing, then so be it.” – Torii Hunter

Not that there needs to be any other reason for me to love Torii Hunter, but his big Major League Baseball rule violation has quite possibly made me love him even more.

Hunter’s gift of four bottles of Dom Perignon, which he had delivered to the Royals clubhouse this past weekend, was meant as a reward for the Royals sweeping the Detroit Tigers last September, allowing the Twins to come from behind to win the American League Central. The gift fulfilled a promise Hunter made last fall.

An All-Star, Golden Glove winner, who never gets into any type of trouble around the league and throws his body on the line for every single play he makes tries to do something nice for a team that never gets recognizes for doing anything but losing, and look what happens.

So, hey, Terry Ryan! When you read this, please sign Torii to a Forever Contract worth whatever it is he wants. It’ll be worth it in the long run, I promise.