I’ma give you the latest updates in Hollywood right now, and then you can just stop reading the Internets for the rest of your life.

Britney Spears? Crazy. And not the song.

Kevin Federline? Not such a bad idea anymore, now, is he?

Anna Nicole Smith? Dead

Howard K. Stern? Douchebag

Dancing With the Stars? lots of wash-ups

Marcia Cross? twin girls

Tom Brady/Bridget Moynahan? Someone poked a hole in someone else’s condom.

Usually I love all this entertainment gossip, but all of a sudden, it’s hit a dry-spell when it comes to quality and I’d like it to kind of stop or something.