no thanks, gary

I am in sales. You may or may not know that. I’ve been involved in some type of customer service for probably 15 years now You may or may not know that. And what you may really be shocked at hearing is that I’m damn good at customer service, too. I’ve won awards, people! (Okay, one award, and it was the Charlie Hustle Award at Taco Bell when I was 17 and my prize was a Taco Bell denim jacket, but that’s not the point.) The point is I get upset when customer service-oriented people do a crappy job, because I know it’s not that hard. As a result, people that I encounter with excellent customer service get rewarded nicely either by a generous tip, if appropriate, or a wonderfully worded letter. I’m not shy about this type of thing!

On the drive home from work tonight, I got a call from a guy whose name I believe was Gary Sanders. He was calling on behalf of the Minnesota Twins. (And I kind of hope someone he knows finds this through Google.) He was trying to pitch me a season ticket plan with the Twins. We all know if I had a disposable income, that would be my third purchase, following a house with a large yard and a new car. However, now? Not so much in the budget.

Gary: Is this Wendy?

Wendy: Yes. (This part of the conversation was repeated four times.)

Gary: I’m calling from the Minnesota Twins. Think we’re headed to the World Series this year?

Wendy (being a realist after a long day at work): I don’t know! Maybe!

Gary: That’s no attitude to have! (no pause whatsoever) With players like Monroe and Mauer, we can go all the way!

Wendy: Wait, who?

Gary: You know, the MVP Monroe and…

Wendy: Yeah, who?

Gary: Monroe?

Wendy: Morneau?

Gary: (very long and uncomfortable pause)

Wendy: (sighing)

Gary: Yes. That’s the one.

The rest of the conversation did not go well for him, because A) he didn’t know the first baseman’s name and B) he was reading a very horrible script. He hung up on me when I told him I’d just call back when I knew what games I wanted to go to. No commission for you, buster!