two dolla

i had a lot of plans today

They mainly involved watching football and cleaning.

It turned into brunch, a nap, some laundry, a little cleaning, some football, some work-related stuff, playing with my dog, some more cleaning, some Tivo-catching-up, some emailing back and forth, Desperate Housewives, and another nap, which I just woke up from 3 minutes ago and and I couldn’t feel my left hand, mainly because I was sleeping on it.

Tomorrow I head back for two full days of work, which will be interrupted by two doctors’ appointments, one involving the hunt for the reasons behind the pain in my shoulder when I do things as rudimentary as wipe my ass and the other involves allowing a grown man to jump on my back until it pops, both of which I’m sure I will greatly enjoy. What don’t I enjoy? Not being able to figure out why one Fancy Pants of a dog has been sniffing my left knee the entire time I’ve been typing this post.

My imminent departure for Phoenix is scheduled for Wednesday morning, bright and early, where I will attempt to dress like a complete girl for five long, arduous days. I come back late, late Sunday evening, before working another day and a half (from home, no less) and then it’s a long stay in Missouri for Thanksgiving. And then November is nearly over.

I love my life, but get sad when I think about how quickly it all goes by.

And, yes. Yes, that is a sideblog you see. Now to figure out the rest of this business.

friday night shopping is the best

For you long time readers, you’ll remember the annual sales conference I had to go to two years ago in Phoenix. Well, I get to go again next week, so I’m finishing up some shopping. I found out that Kohl’s was having some SUPER SHOPPER SAVER HOUR (or something to that effect) tonight until 11pm. So, after the hockey game ended in a tie (most anti-climatic thing ever), I picked Stephanie up for a trip to one of our 2908 local Kohl’s stores.

$134 later, I have a new pair of shoes, a Pac-Man hoodie, a sweater with what I’ve determined are shark tooth buttons, and a FANCY PANTS suit to wear to Phoenix.

And probably a permanent ban from participating in any late-night sales this particular retail location may plan on having in the future. But I’m okay with that. There are 8 others within a 20 mile radius.

federline watch – day 3 1/2

The Smoking Gun has obtained a copy of what K-Fed requests in his dressing room. I’ll paraphrase, with my thoughts in italics:

• chest or appropriate container of clean (not dirty) ice with scoop.
• one quart size bottle of Ocean Spray Cran-Apple Juice (I like to think he’s preventing a UTI)
• a bottle of Jack Daniels and a bottle of Grey Goose Vodka
• Beer?? (I’m not sure if he’s just suggesting beer or what.)
• one ashtray
• one small platter of sliced bread (white and wheat), sliced cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and assorted condiments (mayo, mustard, oil, salt & pepper) (K-Fed loves sammiches!)
• Box of Altoids, red (… I don’t know)

I really don’t get how this douchebag can request anything put a pot to shit in when he’s going to places like the House of Blues in Chicago and playing for absolutely free.

The good news is that the more I read about him, the angrier I get at how absolutely AWESOME he is. And by awesome, I mean so stupid and douchebag-like that I want to throw metal things at his head.

Thanks to Kevin, though, I’ve created a new category of archives: Dirty Obsession. Or maybe just Dirty if it relates to Kevin Federline.

Okay. 7:07 means it’s Gopher Hockey time.

federline watch – day 3

Kevin Federline still has Britney Spears in his Top 8 on his MySpace page. This will surely change. He is currently moderating all comments left on his profile before they get posted. I know this, because I just left the following message: “Yo Kev, bring yourself to Minneapolis”.

His album, which was released on October 31, sold 6,000 the first week. I’m only partly ashamed to admit that my copy was one of those 6,000.

And really? There hasn’t been a trainwreck like this that’s drained so much of my energy since… well, I don’t even know when. I just know that it is not humanly possible for me to avert my eyes from this tragedy in the pop world.

i am still broken

But the good news is that twodolla’s been moved over to a server that’s not broken. Yay.

My rotator cuff injury has not improved. After three visits to the physical therapist, he’s suggesting I go back to my doctor and see what else she wants to do. The rotation of my shoulder joint is getting better, but it’s still more than uncomfortable when I lift my arm up to do things like put on my shirt, towel-dry my hair, and carry things.

My car, Lucky Number Sevenâ„¢, still isn’t back to it’s normal self. There’s a popping sound under the front right tire anytime I accelerate and the driver’s side seat doesn’t move all the way up like it’s supposed to do. Craig, the Douchebag Estimator from ABRA Auto Body in West St. Paul, MN, says it’s from a previous accident where I was hit in the side. That’s only happened once before and it was on the opposite side. Funny how it only stopped working after this previous accident.

Now, I have to take my car back to ABRA Auto Body in West St. Paul to have them fix what they didn’t fix the first time. It wouldn’t be such a big deal, but West St. Paul is not exactly close to where I work and/or live at all, and of course the only time they have someone
there to look at it is during the week. Because that makes a whole hell of a lot of sense.

So, your update? I’m more than frustrated by this whole experience in more ways than one, and I don’t like that due to someone else’s carelessness, I’ve turned into some bitter, angry, ill-tempered, short-fused crabmaster.

But my chiropractor is giving me a note saying I have to get up and move around every 20-30 minutes, which I get to take to my five day sales conference in Phoenix next week. Neato.

watch me as i go vote

I am overly very happy about voting!

OK!

Other suburban voters.

Finding B E R R Y.

The ballot.

I wasn’t pleased with my options.

All done!

go vote and win

I’m sure you’ve read it online 2080 times today and yesterday, but here’s one more. Go vote. Just because it’s not a Presidential election doesn’t mean your vote isn’t important.

Go vote, get your sticker, and just like I did two years ago, I’ll have a little contest. Take a picture of your “I Voted” sticker and email it to me. I’ll put everyone’s name in a hat (or maybe a bowl) and pick a winner. The winner gets… a $20 gift certificate to anywhere they want and an autographed picture of Riley Pants.

A quick email with your picture is all I need. I won’t even yell at you for how you voted.

mister berry. haha. hahahaha. ha.

Never mind that you can almost see up his shorts in this picture I took of him eating grilled cheese halves that my mom made him for lunch one day last summer, because now my brother is a famous star, at least in my old hometown newspaper.

One of the larger playgrounds Mr. Berry designed has a 27-foot-tall slide that wraps around a support column at the Iowa Cubs stadium in Des Moines, Iowa. He helped install that playground, and tested the slide several times. “I’m checking it for safety, of course,” Mr. Berry said.

Mister Berry. Hahahaha. I still can’t stop laughing at that one.

My little brother is famous. And I’ve already left a message requesting an autographed copy of today’s Sedalia Democrat for posterity’s sake.

the weekend of dancing and bars

My day yesterday involved a completely mentally draining afternoon trying to earn respect from someone that doesn’t really deserve that much effort on my part. I knew I either had to drink heavily at home alone or spend time with those of an awesome nature, so it ended up being the latter. Definitely the best choice.
After some quality play/fetch/running time with Sir Riley of the Pants, we headed to Liquor Lyle’s for Gopher hockey-watching, bar food-eating, and 2-for-1 partaking. While sitting on the edge of our red-sparkly seats watching the Gophers win in overtime against the Bulldogs of Minnesota-Duluth, we finished up the last of our drinks and listened to the last of our absolutely horrible selections on the jukebox. It then became dancing time.

We stopped first at Foundation, where we showed up in time for no cover charge and $2 drinks until 11 (followed by $3 until midnight). We danced for a while, and then decided that we’d gotten our money’s worth. A trip across the street to the Gay 90′s was in order, where we stayed until almost-close. A night at the 90′s never fails to leave with plenty of stories, like the drag queen dancing with a walker to SexyBack, male strippers wearing socks and shoes, and a brush with the horse-riding Minneapolis police department.

We reconvened this morning for brunch at Uptown Bar and Cafe and later went to go see Borat, and I really could have laughed the entire time if it weren’t for the fact that I really wanted to hear everything on the screen.  Probably more about that later.

Now I have to figure out how late I can manage to stay up doing laundry and still manage to get to work tomorrow for two straight days of training/no internet access while at work.

the answer is always me

Guess who gets their grown up vehicle back today and can dispose of the navy blue Vibe? That’d be me.

Guess who found out that all the cartildge was detroyed in her left big toe, which can and will lead to an early onset of arthritis and ongoing issues from here until the end of time? Yep, me on that one, too.

Guess who’s going to a Minnesota Wild hockey game tonight? You guessed it. Me.

And guess who’s planning a cruise to the Eastern Caribbean (either this one or this one) for this March? OH HELL YES ME.