gross is an understatement

My plan was to come home today and write about my lovely Thanksgiving weekend, but the idea was thwarted pretty hardcore when I walked into the normally somewhat pleasant apartment I live in and realized it smelled of human waste. Perhaps that’s because the shower drain had backed up, soaking my entire bathroom floor (along with the pile of dirty clothes I had left in it to wash when I got home). It really looks like dried up shit caked in my shower floor, too. That’s the neat thing about it.

But the super neat thing about it? It’s gotta be the smell. Other peoples shit? SO PLEASANT.

I have to pee really bad right now, but there’s no chance in hell I’m going into that bathroom anytime soon. I’m not too proud to either hang my ass over the balcony or go to the gas station until the smell of ass leaves my apartment. Unfortunately, I don’t think the caked-on crap is going to clear itself up anytime soon.

I’ll accept all offers to clean it, though. Really.

I take that back. The maintenance man is now in my bathroom cleaning out my shower. How generous.

7 Comments

  1. Ron

    That has got to be second only to coming home and finding your place on fire! How much so you tip the guy mopping up the shit? And how much Febreeze did it take??

  2. Awwww, Wendy! That makes for a terrible, horrible no good, very bad day! At least you don’t have to be the shower cleaner guy, though, and you know that tomorrow is pretty much guaranteed to be better than today. How yicky.

  3. Diz

    Wow. That makes me feel guilty about whining about the fact that my apartment hasn’t been painted since I’ve lived here, the windows need replacing, and the bathroom ceiling is mildew central. I think I’ll take all of that over shit-odored back water.

    Although now, I am belatedly thankful for that bottle of Liquid Plumbr I used last week…

  4. Wow. That almost makes Travis spitting in your mouth not seem quite as disgusting.

    You had the nastiest Thanksgiving ever!

    I’ll bet Pants loves the new fragrance.

  5. […] You know the shit that’s been caked on my bathroom floor since I got home Monday night? Still there. I’ve tried to clean it up with a Swiffer (because that’s all I had) and I even bought a real mop. See my dedication here? No dice on either one, though, because apparently when shit’s been caked on a tile floor, it tends to stay that way for a while. […]

  6. […] I head back to my joint. Ever since I was welcomed back from last year’s Thanksgiving trip by human feces on my floor, I tend to get a little paranoid when I come back home after any amount of time away. I’m not […]

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