watch me get really bitchy

Multiple co-workers either emailed or said to me, “hey, what happened yesterday?” or “how was the drive in?”
How did they know something happened? Because they drove my car that was crashed on the side of the road and me standing outside with a polo shirt and no jacket on in 35 degree temperatures. Thanks for stopping to see if I was okay, assholes. You really made my fucking day.
Two summers ago when I crashed, another co-worker was sure to stop and see if I was okay. He even gave me a hug and asked if I wanted him to stay. “No, thank you, kind sir, but thank you for giving me confidence in humanity.”

I’m going to get the police report this afternooon and then I want a nice new rental car, maybe a Hummer or a Porsche. Enterprise has those, right?