the day I googled whiplash

I wanted to post this morning about how I went to the Mall of America last night and walked past every store in 1 hour and 50 minutes, and spent less than $80 on two cards, a pair of jeans, a t-shirt, a polo shirt, and two more shirts. But then something else came up.

Like probably the cost of my insurance every month.

This morning, I stopped behind a van that was stopped on the road, because that’s what normal people do. The person traveling at approximately 40 miles per hour behind me, though, was too busy “picking up a cup that had spilled” and smashed into me, causing me to smash into the van. Neat.

Photo-0033.jpg Yes, I am inside a police car.

At first, I was pissed, because it wasn’t my fault. And then, I was cold, because it snowed this morning on my way into work. But then, I got to sit in the back of the cop car to warm up, which totally made my week. Sitting in the back of the cop car instead of in my 9:00 meeting? ONE MILLION TIMES MORE AWESOME. If it weren’t for the fact that my car has to be smashed in the process.


I rammed my knee on the dashboard and of course, I have the most awesome seatbelt bruise forming as the day goes on. And over lunch, my neck began to get extra achy and now it feels like it’s swelling. Guess who’s skipping a work happy hour to go to Urgent Care? Yep, me.

The car’s been towed away to the towing place, and then towed over to the mechanic. I’m waiting on a call from the assclown’s insurance company to let me know when I can pick up a rental car, because being without a car is something I hate almost as much as I hate a poorly made grilled cheese sandwich.

For now, I’m going to depend on other people to take me places, and hope some type of vehicle with four functional wheels is available on Friday when I have my foot MRI scheduled and need to take my puppy to his home-away-from-home while I’m in Chicago this weekend.

Oh yeah. I forgot. I’m going to Chicago this weekend.