a customer service rampage

Lately, I’ve had my fill of customer service people. As a former customer service representative and a very damn good one at that, it absolutely infuriates me to have shitty customer service. And it keeps happening more and more lately!

If you’re my server at a restaurant, I expect you to ask me how my food is, and to keep my water glass full. That’s not a lot to ask. If I’m drinking something else that may or may not contain alcohol, you could benefit yourself by asking if I’d like another one. But if you’re not going to do that, you should at least take the empty plates off the table in a timely matter, so I could enjoy the concoction of water, lime juice, orange juice, ketchup, sugar, and peppermint that I’ve developed in my half empty water glass. That, Keith, is why you only received a 4% tip Saturday evening.

When I go to by a new cell phone, I expect a courteous employee to guide me into selecting the phone that would be more appropriate to me. I understand you’re in sales, so I would enjoy hearing your pitch on each phone. That’s why I’m in the store and not ordering online. So, if you could put your Taco Bell cup down long enough to help me, that’d be great. And when I do decide on a phone and you ring it up, don’t insinuate that I’m stupid for not buying a wall charger. Guess what? My old phone has the same charger. I plan ahead, dude.

And for God’s sake, don’t argue with me about my cell phone plan. I know I pay extra to have unlimited text and picture messages. You’re looking right at my account and you should know this. Or at least check on this before you argue with me that I don’t have it. And no, I’m not sorry that we prank called people from the cell phones you have on display in your store. That’s what you get for being a douchebag.

If you’re not going to provide quality customer service, there are plenty of jobs that don’t require you to do so. You could paint the stripes on my parking lot or clean out the sewers, for instance.

Good service with a smile. Is that too much to ask?


What's up?