two dolla

r stands for really, really awesome

See, some may think that I’ve gone too far by getting my dog a tag that goes one step further with personalizing then the standard dogtag might do. But really, you can just blame Old Navy.

Whoever thought it was a good idea for Old Navy to start selling dog clothes and accessories clearly saw me coming from about 57,409 miles away.

It’s not like I bought him a puppy polo shirt… which I would have if it would have came in red, because that’s his color.  I thoughto myself that a big fat R would make him the envy (or maybe laughing stock, but let’s not talk about that) of the apartment complex dogs when they’re all out on their synchronized potty trip before bed.

Yep, Alisa is right. Who needs to humiliate myself on TV, when I can do it all right here?

i could be the next ruben studdard

American Idol auditions are starting up next month!

Now, I can’t sing for crap, and I know this. But part of me really wants to go through the whole audition process, just for posterity sake. Plus, how cool would it be for you to see photo documentation of how grueling the entire process is? Because they’re auditioning in Minneapolis! And this would be the last year I’d be eligible for auditions due to my impending climb towards the age of 29.

San Antonio, Tex., Fri., Aug. 11, Alamodome
East Rutherford, N.J., Mon., Aug. 14, Continental Airlines Arena
Birmingham, Ala., Mon., Aug. Aug. 21, B.J.C.C.
Memphis, Tenn., Sun., Sept. 3, FedExForum
Minneapolis, Minn., Fri., Sept. 8, Target Center
Seattle, Wash., Tues., Sept. 19, Key Arena

Don’t worry. There’s no way I would ever audition. While it would be funny and an experience like no other, I would rather humiliate myself in other ways that do not include national TV.