idol & two guys i don’t know

I know that since it’s getting closer to the grand finale I should be getting more and more excited about watching American Idol on Tuesday nights. It’s been the exact opposite, though. I think the theme nights are wearing thin on me, and it’s really put a damper on probably the last three weeks. I still watch it, mind you, but I just don’t get as excited as I have in past years.

In any case, I watched American Idol tonight after Riley’s obedience class, and, as always, formed my own smarmy opinions.

Kat: Do you think she really goes by Kat, or do you think Secreast is just too lazy to continue saying Katharine McPhee? Whitney Houston is huge, and while Kat’s great, she’s not Whitney Houston great. Her rehearsal with the two strange guys goes well, and just by watching her practice, I get excited for her performance. And then I get let down. And then I get excited again when I think she exposes her entire nether regions for all of America to see. Although, I think she has some sort of unitard on to prevent actual cooch-viewing. If I hadn’t deleted it already, I would frame-by-frame it just to see. Her performance is good and it’s easy to see why she’s still around, but it’s not as phenomenal as it probably needs to be at this point in the game.

Elliott: I don’t know Donny Hathaway, but hearing Elliott talk about him makes me want to hit the iTunes store right away. That should say something about Elliott’s personality, shouldn’t it? He looks nice tonight in his grown up suit and not so much like an Amish Leprechaun. I like Elliott so much, because no matter who he’s working with on his performance, he seems to take every little thing they say and apply it. While I don’t know the song he’s singing, I do know that he sounds as good as ever. It’s hard for me to judge songs I don’t know, because I don’t know what they’re supposed to really sound like. But, in any case, I would pick this as one of Elliott’s strongest performances to date.

Fuckin’ Pickler: Yeah, that song from Ghost? You’re stupid. Stop talking. I’d like to play pottery with her, and by play pottery, I mean bash a pot on her head. Then I’ll sing a song. Sounds fun. More fun then listening to her butcher such an amazing, classic song. I love that Andrea Bocelli can tell she’s blond. AND HE’S BLIND. Her performance was very boring for me, and extremely robotic. “Unchained Melody” is a song that should rip at so many emotions. For me, I only felt one – RAGE TOWARDS PICKLER. Awful performance at this stage of the competition. Everyone else is raising the bar each week, but she stopped about two weeks ago.

Paris: She picks a Barbra Streisand song, which I took at a let down. I would have loved to hear her do something with more soul. The thing I liked best about this performance? It finally gave her a chance to show off her lower range, too, which I thought was amazing. Was it a great performance? I would only go as far as saying it’s one just like any of her previous ones (minus the Beyonce ass-bumping one) – strong, powerful, ready to be on a record. It’s just a matter of her getting a fanbase that’s going to keep her in the competition for a while longer.

Taylor: When he sings and stays in one spot, it’s so easy for people to see the emotions he’s trying to convey. My first thought about Taylor was that he looks fabulous tonight! I like his song choice. While it’s not his typical high-energy, fun-loving stage show, it’s probably the best he could do and still follow along with the theme. Unless, of course, he would have chosen Pussy Control. I like seeing the more mellow side of Taylor from time to time, and while it wasn’t necessarily his best job this season, I’d listen to it again if it were on a CD.

Chris: Dear Producers: Please show more clips of Chris laying on the floor singing. Thank you. I’m starting to really like when Chris avoids the Nickelback-ish performances that he started out with this season. That’s obviously his forte’, but by following suite to the actual themes the past couple of weeks, I’ve enjoyed him more and more. If he does a whole CD of his rock stuff, I don’t know that I’d listen to it a lot. I like that he’s showing himself as an all-around talented singer and not someone that can only fit into one genre. His performance is really good, but I keep thinking that he’s angry every time he sings. He always looks like he’s scowling.

Bottom three: Fuckin’ Pickler, Katharine, and Paris. Hopefully, Pickler goes home, because I really don’t want her to make it to the point where they sing two songs per night.