two dolla

chumps

Want my quick American Idol recap?

I hate America. That’s it.

Mandisa and Elliott are two of my favorites. I didn’t vote for Mandisa on Tuesday, because I thought her song choice was terrible. But definitely not the worst of the night.

Simon was right on the mark every time he says that your song choice sticks with you. Out of all the country songs she could have picked, a hokey Shania Twain song should have been on the bottom of the list for Mandisa to pick.

I hope that her faith and religion didn’t turn America away from voting for her. It takes a brave soul to be that confident and proud of their beliefs to share them in front of millions. That’s another reason that I really respected her.

From what we saw on TV, Mandisa is obviously a very awesome person no matter how you look at her. I hope she goes on to do amazing things and if those amazing things involve CDs, I’ll be buying them.

Next week, the remaining 8 Idol-wannabes are doing Queen songs. Pickler will probably think Queen is some girl punk rock band and somebody better sing either Fat Bottomed Girls or Bicycle Race.

I read a rumor today that the week after that? Prince songs. I want some Pussy Control and some Darling Nikki that week , yo.

i’ve been fired for 100x less

WASHINGTON — A spokesman for the Homeland Security Department was put on unpaid leave today after being charged with preying on a child through online sexual conversations with an undercover detective who was posing as a 14-year-old girl. [link]

Really? Unpaid leave?

Dear Homeland Security:

He flaunted the fact that he was a Homeland Security official to the child he thought he was chatting with. Do I feel like my homeland is secure when the officials that are paid to protect it are busy cybersexxing it up over AIM with little girls? I’m gonna go with not so much. But unpaid leave? I’m thinking, you know, FIRE HIM? Just a suggestion.
Thanks for your protection,
Wendy

a few bullet pointed things

• Please go vote for my friend Veronica. She’s the cool one from Chicago that is definitely the epitome of an amazing woman. Trust me on this one and just go vote for her.
• My dog stats obedience school on the 18th. I’m excited for him.
• Speaking of my dog, I was hanging out with my gym buddy and his girlfriend the other night. His girlfriend is less than 4 weeks away from becoming a full fledged veterinarian.  She said my dog is very smart and behaved very well around their cats and birds. She was shocked that he’s as young as he is. This makes me very happy.
• Do you want to go shoot paintball next Thursday, the 13th? We’re making a private reservation in hopes of rounding up 16 people to go play at Splatball. It costs $30/person for two hours and includes the gun rental and some free ammo. There’s more information right here. If you want to go, please email me so we can make sure we get at least 16 people. It’s sure to be a TON of fun.