the greatest thing about a year ago today

One year ago today, probably almost down to the exact minute, Amelia called me to let me know that a blood test at the clinic confirmed the same thing that multiple brands and types of home pregnancy tests had told us the day before: ALL SYSTEMS POINT TO BABY.

Our friends Justin and Megan found out first, because Amelia got the call from the clinic when she was visiting baby Ayla, who was only a few days home from the hospital. Justin had to remind Amelia that she should probably call me. (Thanks, dude!) I told anybody and everybody that would listen. It was one of my favorite co-worker’s first days there, so I’m sure that was a cool “get to know you” think on her first day!

Every single day since then, I’ve done nothing but think about how amazing my son is.

Even on his derpy days.

When we went into this process, we knew we had four shots at this whole process that our insurance would mostly cover. We worked incredibly hard to make sure we had the money in savings we’d need to pay our portion of those four chances. If those didn’t work… Well, we just didn’t really think of that. We just didn’t expect to work the first time.

My boss calls him a gift. And he is. In so many ways. For 365 days, I’ve thought the same thing.

To wipe out the sap and the mush, I will share that my wife dressed him in this outfit for me to take him to his infant massage class is the cushiest suburb of all. Pretty sure Grayson’s dad was jealous that his hairy baby didn’t have the same onesie:

I’m just hoping this baby of mine didn’t catch Cake Eater Disease while we were there.

1/4 teaspoon of saliva is more than you think

For the past several months, I’ve been obsessively building family trees for my family as well as my genetic/biological people. It’s pretty nuts, but it’s also incredibly fascinating.

A few weeks ago, I decided there was a much easier way to find out the genetic piece of what I’ve always been curious about. And while I plan on continuing to dig around under rocks to find out some interesting tidbits here and there, I’m also waiting for science to get back to me.

I forked over some cash to the folks at and a few days later a package came in the mail.


The only familiarity I have with gathering DNA is what I’ve seen on Law & Order: SVU and when I bought 23 million sperm. Since Olivia Benson wasn’t around to secretly steal the pop can I’d been drinking out of, I had to fill this with 1/4 teaspoon full of spit. Up to the line, the directions said, but don’t count the bubbles.


I did it the best way I knew how… which is apparently holding a test tube against my mouth like it was a trumpet mouthpiece.


I mixed the secret blue solvent mixture in as instructed, leaving out the dog slobber that we thought might be funny, and dropped it in the mail the day after I got it.

Earlier this week, I got an email that said this:


Now I wait for 6-8 weeks to find out what kind of a mutt I really am. I’m guessing it’s at least 25% Irish and 25% German based on my supreme internet stalking skills, but I’m still just going nuts waiting. I’m a product of two red-headed adults, you guys. (Yes, in fact, I can show you the Facebook pages of the two folks that contributed the sperm and egg that turned into me, if you’re so inclined.)

The curiosity really started to get at me when we found out exactly what Oslo’s heritage is and I was jealous. Of a 3 month old. It seems like kind of a silly thing to even care about, especially knowing that the accuracy of something like this certainly isn’t going to be 100% accurate and that I won’t understand most of the 700,000 rows of raw data information I’ll end up with when it’s all said and done. But sometimes, you just feel like you need to know things.

a year ago today, i was excited about 23 million sperm

The past couple of weeks, I’ve been checking out my TimeHop and noticing that it’s involved a lot of steps up that resulted in this baby I’ve got hanging around my house now.

Things like this happened:





And then exactly 365 days ago, my wife was in a doctor’s office with her feet up in stirrups while another lady put 23 million sperm inside her. I would imagine not many of you can say that same sentence, nor would you want to.

I’ve been getting updates for the past month of our 2014 that started out involving things like hormone shots and Ultrasounds and, my personal favorite, buying a giant dry-ice cooled thermos  full of sperm. Going through the whole process was tedious and daunting. There were numbers like less than 20% of women with PCOS (which Amelia has) are able to get pregnant on their first try with the type of insemination we used (IUI) when they’re over the age of 30 (which Amelia is). And then there was the statistic of it usually taking at least 3 attempts at IUI for it to actually work. Those aren’t what I’d really call positive numbers.

But, now, thanks to modern science, an incredibly efficient doctor and nurse practitioner AND a little help from whatever higher power you believe in (God for us), we now have a little miracle of a boy in our house growing like a weed every single day. It was meant to be is such a cliche but tell me that it wasn’t. I won’t believe you, but you can try to tell me.

This guy seems to be pretty happy it all worked out, too.

a rundown of my january 25ths for the past 8 years

  • 2007: I had the flu.
  • 2008: Apartment-shopping to finally move from the suburbs into the city.
  • 2009: We were having dinner at a friend’s house.
  • 2010: I got a pair of brand new sneakers for $20 and was very excited about it.
  • 2011: I’d forgotten how to blog about anything.
  • 2012: I was in the middle of loving Drake and packing to move into our current house. We were fostering our last set of puppies.
  • 2013: Again with the forgetting the blog thing. I did manage to take a picture of some pals at happy hour.
  • 2014: Amelia and I saw The Dan Band in Minneapolis. Highly recommended, by the way.
  • 2015: I had a headache until about 3pm, am nursing what I’m scared might be a torn rotator cuff and went grocery shopping with my wife and 11 week old baby.

Thanks to TimeHop, I noticed late last week that about one year go today is when, holy shit, our lives were just about to get a whole lot more crazy. And, of course, all that was for the better. This 13 pound, 25 inch little ball of drool that just turned 11 weeks old last week has definitely changed my life and, thanks to him, I don’t think I’ll ever look at anything in the same light again.